Caring for YOU While You Care for Them: A guide for family caregivers

As a gerontologist, I often remind caregivers that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Caring for a loved one, especially as they age, is one of the most compassionate callings you’ll embrace. But it’s also one of the most physically and emotionally demanding. If you're not careful, your health, relationships, and well-being can quietly slip to the bottom of the list.

This guide is your permission and plan to care for yourself while caring for someone else.

Tip #1 - Recognize the Risks of Caregiver Burnout

Caregivers often experience high levels of chronic stress. A landmark study from the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA, 1999) found that caregivers of individuals with dementia had a 63% higher mortality risk than non-caregivers due to stress-related illnesses. Ignoring your own needs isn’t selfless. It’s harmful. Start by acknowledging the toll caregiving can take. Chronic stress increases your risk for anxiety, heart disease, and even early death.

Try this: Use a simple tool like the Zarit Burden Interview (short form) ZBI-12_Form.pdf to check in with yourself monthly. It takes just a few minutes and helps you monitor caregiver stress levels.

Source: Schulz R., Beach S. (1999). Caregiving as a risk factor for mortality: the Caregiver Health Effects Study. 282(23):2215-9. DOI: 10.1001/jama.282.23.2215

Tip #2 - Protect Your Sleep and Your Sanity

Sleep deprivation impairs immune function and cognitive performance. The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7–9 hours per night for adults, but many caregivers report getting far less. Try a consistent bedtime routine, ask for help when possible, and limit screen time at night. Even a short daily nap can improve alertness and emotional regulation. Poor sleep weakens your

immune system and decision-making.

Try this: Set a nightly “wind-down” alarm 30 minutes before bed. During that time, dim the lights, silence your phone, and do something calming, like reading or taking a warm shower, as a cue for your body that it’s time for sleep.

"My caregiver mantra is to remember: the only control you have is over the changes you choose to make." – Nancy L. Kriseman

Tip #3 - You are Not Meant to do This Alone

Research from Stanford University shows that social support significantly reduces caregiver depression and stress. Reach out to friends, join a caregiver support group (online or in person), or contact local respite services. Asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s a sound strategy. Isolation increases caregiver depression, while caregiver support networks improve well-being.

Try this: Schedule a weekly check-in call with a trusted friend or join a free online caregiver support group. Check out AARP and the Alzheimer’s Association support groups.

Source: Pinquart, M., & Sörensen, S. (2003). Differences between caregivers and noncaregivers in psychological health and physical health: A meta-analysis. Psychology and Aging, 18(2), 250–267. https://doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.18.2.250

Tip #4 - Move Your Body, Shift Your Mind

Just 20 minutes of movement can elevate mood by boosting endorphins and reducing cortisol, the stress hormone. Caregivers who exercised regularly reported better physical health and fewer symptoms of depression (Gallagher-Thompson & Coon, D., Psychology and Aging, 2007). Start small: a walk around the block, chair stretches, or a quick yoga session can make a difference. Movement improves mood, energy, and resilience.

Try this: A 10-minute YouTube walk-at-home video or dance to one of your favorite songs every morning. It’s short, free, boosts your mood, and no equipment is needed.

Source: Gallagher-Thompson D., Coon D.W. (2007) Evidence-based psychological treatments for distress in family caregivers of older adults. Psychol Aging. (1):37-51. https://doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.22.1.37

Tip #5 - Fuel Your Brain and Body

When you’re tired and overwhelmed, it’s easy to reach for processed comfort foods. But your brain and body need better fuel. Diets rich in leafy greens, berries, nuts, and whole grains, like the MIND diet, have been shown to protect cognitive health (Morris et al., Alzheimer’s & Dementia, 2015). Stay hydrated and aim for regular meals, even if they’re simple. A brain-healthy diet helps with energy, focus, and long-term health. And family caregivers need ALL

those things!

Try this: Keep grab-and-go snacks on hand like nuts, baby carrots, or Greek yogurt so you’re not skipping meals or relying on fast food when caregiving gets hectic.

Source: Morris M., Tangney C., Wang Y., Sacks F., Bennett D. & Aggarwal N. (2015). MIND diet associated with reduced incidence of Alzheimer's disease. Alzheimers Dement. (9):1007-14. DOI: 10.1016/j.jalz.2014.11.009

Tip #6 - Name What You're Feeling

It’s normal to feel guilt, grief, anger, or isolation. It’s not unusual for family caregivers to experience all of those in one day. But bottling up emotions can increase anxiety and even raise blood pressure. Journaling, therapy, and mindfulness meditation have been proven to help caregivers cope. Labeling emotions helps reduce their intensity.

Try this: Once a day, take one minute to pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?

Say it out loud or write it down in a notes app. This quick exercise improves emotional regulation over time.

The UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center offers free, evidence-based guided meditations

that are short and restorative. Mindfulness Resources from UCLA:

UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. (n.d.). Free Guided Meditations.

https://www.uclahealth.org/programs/marc/free-guided-meditations

Tip #7 - Plan for the Road Ahead

It’s normal to feel guilt, grief, anger, or isolation. It’s not unusual for family caregivers to experience all of those in one day. But bottling up emotions can increase anxiety and even raise blood pressure.

Journaling, therapy, and mindfulness meditation have been proven to help caregivers cope. Labeling emotions helps reduce their intensity.

Feeling overwhelmed often stems from feeling unprepared. Advance care planning, legal documents, and knowing your loved one’s wishes can reduce stress in the long run. Caregivers who feel prepared experience less stress during crises.

Try this: Visit The Conversation Project, Five Wishes, and Prepare for Your Care websites to begin having conversations for the road ahead.

• Five Wishes

• The Conversation Project

• Prepare for Your Care

You matter too!

You are not “just a caregiver.” You are a lifeline, a decision-maker, a companion, and often, a silent hero. And all the while, you are also still you. Your well-being deserves attention, care, and protection. Care for yourself like someone you love. The rest will follow.